Bippo's Place for Smiles
Yesterday I brought my children (2 and 3) to the dentist for the first time. This was a trip to hell, and it cost $189. This place is called Bippo's Place for Smiles, and it is a shining example of the depraved attitudes many of the people in my community (and I guess I belong in there to a certain extent) have towards child rearing. I did not shop around, but I am quite sure that this place costs twice as much as any other pediatric dentist. In the outside play area there is a jungle gym like the ones at MdDonalds. There is a meditation garden. Once your spoiled children have finished perusing these delights, it's time to enter "The Jungle." Yes, "the jungle." At Bippo's place for smiles, one does not simply open the door and walk into the cramped waiting room. First one must walk through a thirty-foot hallway that is painted to look like a jungle--wild animals (with wild sounds piped in), cross over the goldfish pond, and climb through the tree house that eventually leads to the waiting room. In the waiting room were several televisions, video games set to restart over and over--no quarters needed, and a tropical fish tank that was stocked with all of the fish from Finding Nemo. There was a crawl space behind this talk so that the wee ones could crawl in and see the whole thing from behind. There were helium balloons, and Bippo himself circulated the waiting room handing out toothbrushes and taking pictures with the children. Until yesterday, my kids had never seen a video game.
In the back of the office, there was a fleet of beautiful dental technicians handing out stickers justto get the children to come into the room. If the child sits on the chair, he gets to pick a toy from the tooybox. In fact, they must reward after brushing every tooth, because my oldest came out with an armful of bracelets. I came home with the news that both of my children had overbites. They will both need braces. I think that no one gets out of Mandeville without braces.
When I and my brother used to go to the dentist, my mother was sitting there forcing us to do our homework, ready to swat us with a rolled magazine for the slightest thing.
Friends, we have it too good.